As I play Words with Friends — I have about a dozen games going at any one time — bystanders often hear me muttering the same phrase over and over. It’s such a common refrain that Mr. Right Now says it should be on my headstone.

Well it should be a word*.

I have other ideas for what I want my headstone to say.

Wait a minute. Let me explain.

or

I did this to get attention.

My mom has long had her epitaph planned.

I told you I didn’t feel well.

One of my best friends from high school had a catch phrase I thought would be good to carve into a monument.

Wait a minute. Let me finish my beer.

or

Wait a minute. Let me finish my coffee.

It would depend on the time of day.

My brother has a vanity plate that says, in fewer letters, something the little sister in me thinks is an appropriate memorial.

Antagonist

Some famous people make it a point to be clever to the end. Dorothy L. Parker, for instance:

Involved in a Plot.

Lionel Barrymore:

I’ve played everything but a harp.

When I was a little girl, we had a book of funny epitaphs that I loved to read. I still remember a couple.

Here lies John Yeast,
Pardon me for not rising.

and (appropriately from a grave in Tombstone, AZ)

Here lies Lester Moore,
Four slugs from a forty-four.
No Les,
No Moore.

What would you put on your gravestone if you had one? Would you opt for a laugh or go for something solemn? And why?

* I say this about the same words over and over, particularly “ew” which isn’t a word, although “ow” and “aw” are. How else would you spell “ew”?