Dear Ken Griffey, Jr.

I hope the rumors are true and that you are, indeed, coming back to Seattle to play for the Mariners. We need the boost. But more than that, I think you’ll like it here better. Sure, Atlanta is an hour’s flight from your home in Florida, but there isn’t another place in the country where…

Dear Everyone In Israel and Gaza,

Please just stop it. What you’re doing isn’t working. For sixty years you’ve both been fighting for your existence. Just agree you both deserve to exist and move on. Peace leads to longer lives, happier children, and more money to spend on devices like iPods. Peace gives the space for energy to be devoted to…

Dear William Wegman,

My husband and I bonded as we courted over your photos. We have just about every book you ever published — children’s and art. The only missing one is a counting board book that had one entry featuring a stuffed bear with really googly eyes. It totally freaked out my son so we had to…

The Dog Pile

It was the Monday night before the Tuesday when our cleaners come, and I was once again contemplating the three tall piles of books on top of the bookshelves next to the bed. They are starting to lean precariously and pose a danger in the case of even a small earthquake. Really; I’m not exaggerating….

Dear Bill O’Reilly,

Regarding the atheist poster at the Washington State Capitol: First, do you believe in free speech? Because if you do, then you have to admit that whether you agree with that speech or not, you have to allow it. Second, is an elected official who is upholding the law of the land really a moron?…

Dear Rev. Joseph Illo,

I realize that as a central California Catholic pastor you may not qualify as famous, but your recent comments about Catholic Obama voters and their need to confess the sin of Obama support has put you in the news. I just have one question for you: if you voted for Obama and have to repent…