Dear Mullahs,

Remember 30 years ago? Remember how a bunch of young people got fed up with a dictator in Iran and rigged elections and being repressed? Remember how they took to the streets an in a short time, overthrew the old regime and instituted what was supposed to be a democratic Islamic republic? Just wondering if…

Dear God,

I’ve always been curious about something: how come you can be ill with something deadly, like cancer, and not even know it until it’s too late, but when you have a cold, you feel like dying — even though chances are you won’t? Just wondering. Lisa

Dear Rush Limbaugh,

I’m no fan of Dick Cheney. But here’s something I’ll give him: for all that he dislikes the policies of the present administration and worries about the future of this country, he would never wish ill on it. He would never hope that more people would become unemployed or lose their homes; that more soldiers…

Dear President Ahmedinejad,

Really kind of you to come out in favor of giving journalist Roxanna Saberi the chance to defend herself on her appeal of her conviction for spying. Pity you didn’t let her present a defense in open court from the start. But that would have just shown off that the charges were bogus and your…

Dear Rihanna

I read the police report today. Don’t go back. You deserve someone who knows that you don’t punch out someone you’re in love with. And shame on all your “friends” who are in any way encouraging you to get back together. Is it really that nice at Diddy’s house that it makes up for being…

Dear Ken Griffey, Jr.

I hope the rumors are true and that you are, indeed, coming back to Seattle to play for the Mariners. We need the boost. But more than that, I think you’ll like it here better. Sure, Atlanta is an hour’s flight from your home in Florida, but there isn’t another place in the country where…

Dear Everyone In Israel and Gaza,

Please just stop it. What you’re doing isn’t working. For sixty years you’ve both been fighting for your existence. Just agree you both deserve to exist and move on. Peace leads to longer lives, happier children, and more money to spend on devices like iPods. Peace gives the space for energy to be devoted to…

Dear William Wegman,

My husband and I bonded as we courted over your photos. We have just about every book you ever published — children’s and art. The only missing one is a counting board book that had one entry featuring a stuffed bear with really googly eyes. It totally freaked out my son so we had to…