I’m all for the ethical treatment of animals, be they the ones that are our companions at home, those that live in the wild and are impacted by our encroachment on their environment, or the ones we raise or catch for food. I think that how humanely we treat other creatures says a lot about humanity. I’m the girl who, if I thought about it hard enough, could easily go vegan (although I’d probably eat eggs from my friend Sharon’s chickens — she has about 100, all with named and recognized by her — you’ve never seen a happier bunch of hens ). I can’t understand the need of some to wear fur unless you live in the Aleutian Islands and are a First Nations member who lives the way natives did 100 or more years ago or are a Laplander living a traditional reindeer herding life. Don’t I sound like good PETA material?

But last week, I almost wrote to take you to task over your complaints about fish tossing at the Pike Place Market. Pike Place Fish hurls whole salmon for the tourists, from one employee to another, the whole staff shouting the order in unison. The fish catcher wraps the fish for the customer. It started out as a fun thing, turned into a tourist attraction, and eventually became part of the store’s team building. Books have been written about it. That’s why the AVMA wanted a demonstration and talk from Pike Place Fish during its meeting next  month. It is supposed to be about team building. But you had to go and equate tossing dead fish to be wrapped for future barbecuing to throwing dead kittens around. Seriously, you lost me then.

You want to talk about showing reverence for food? Go somewhere else, because nowhere is salmon more revered — nor its fishery better managed — than in the Pacific Northwest. We pity the poor folks in the east who have to eat farmed Atlantic salmon, dyed red and riddled with medications to keep them “healthy”. We love our salmon so much that we are willing to pay up to $50 per pound to taste the succulence of Copper River King — ideally put on a wood-fired grill and served naked, because it doesn’t need any other flavoring (unlike that farmed stuff). We celebrate our salmon like that weird town in Italy celebrates tomatoes or that one is Spain does its oranges. Don’t lecture us about gratitude towards our beloved fish.

I didn’t write that letter. Instead, I addressed the Mullahs of Iran.

But then you had to open your mouths about how President Obama killed a fly during an interview, and how that proved humanity had a long way to go. It’s a fly. There’s no great shortage of flies. Should we not kill mosquitoes (never mind about malaria or West Nile, right? We’re just people)? Will one of your humane traps handle the invasion of sugar ants at my house — or should I just let them eat what they want? Mice in the west can carry the Hanta virus. I suppose it’s better to risk death than kill the mice, right?

Ethical and humane treatment, yes, but you guys are alienating people like me who really support the idea of treating those we share the earth with better, securing their habitat, and making sure we don’t decimate their populations. I’m the mom explaining to my son why we can’t kill all the mosquitoes because that would leave the bats with nothing to eat. I’m who you should be wooing. You guys though, you are starting to sound (my brother would argue wth those last three words) like crazy people in foil hats.

Lisa