Dear FDA,
Safe concentrations of melamine? In baby formula? Would you actually feed the stuff you tested to any baby in your care? Try again, please. Lisa
Disturbing Thanksgiving revelations
I was at the post office the day after Thanksgiving and I was talking to the clerk at the window about the joys of pie for breakfast, mentioning my morning meal of leftover apple and quince tarte tatin. That’s when she said it: she had cherry pie the night before. And even worse, the guy…
Dear Nora Jones,
You know that song “My Dear Country” on Not Too Late? The one that’s written to scary-movie music and includes these lyrics: “That nothing is as scary as election day. But the day after is darker, And darker and darker it goes, Who knows, maybe the plans will change, Who knows, maybe he’s not deranged.”…
Baby it’s cold outside — so fix a pot of Chili
I have a friend who doesn’t cook. I don’t know if she doesn’t cook because doesn’t like to, or because she feels she can’t. Either way, I don’t know how much “cooking” is involved in making a pot of chili. Added bonus: you can make a ton at once and then freeze it on manageable…
Dear Howard Dean,
My brother says I should write to you and ask you to send a thank you note to W. Without him, Big Brother (mine, not Orwell’s) says we wouldn’t have done nearly as well. Enjoy the party. Lisa
Dear Obama Family,
As you get ready for your latest adventure — I’m talking about choosing a dog to join your family, not that other thing — please consider the joy of picking from the thousands of shelter dogs that are looking for new homes. They often make better pets than purebred dogs and it sends a powerful…
Dear President Obama,
I want to thank you for making such a gracious victory speech tonight. Four years ago, after John Kerry lost, I wrote a letter to President Bush and Vice President Cheney asking them to remember that they were leaders of all Americans, not just the Republicans who elected them. Bush later gave a speech talking…
Dear Incoming Congress and President,
As a first order of business, I’d like to request you pass a law making it a federal offense for those who haven’t voted to complain about the State of Affairs, Politicians, Politics, Laws, or Elections. If they do, I’d like the punishment to be that we who have voted are allowed to hit them…
Dear Every Registered Voter in the US,
Please vote tomorrow. I’d be lying if I said I didn’t care who you voted for. I do care. But more than that, I care that you vote. And if you don’t vote, shut up. I don’t want to hear you complain about politics, politicians, laws, regulations, the economy or anything else. If you aren’t…
Dear Stacy and Clinton of What Not To Wear,
I know you have a thing against thrift shops, but there are a lot of people in the country now who don’t have a lot of money to spend on clothing. For them thrift stores, Target, Wal-Mart, and Sears are the best they can do. So I have a challenge for you: why don’t you…