I was at the post office the day after Thanksgiving and I was talking to the clerk at the window about the joys of pie for breakfast, mentioning my morning meal of leftover apple and quince tarte tatin. That’s when she said it: she had cherry pie the night before. And even worse, the guy behind me mentioned his table featured banana cream pie.

I went home, shocked, and told my husband, who revealed one of his friends had ham. Then there’s my brother, who treated his family to grilled oysters, crab, and fruit salad. Happily Sister-in-Law and Niece made a pumpkin pie as well. I would have cried if they hadn’t.

It was all too much for me, and there ensued a heated discussion. Words like “cultish” and “Hasidic overdrive” were hurled at me as I tried to explain that it is called Turkey Day, not Ham Day, not Crab and Oyster Day. I’ll admit that on the first Thanksgiving nearly 400 years ago, they probably had some seafood, some wild boar, and fowl that didn’t include turkey. But since the time when Thanksgiving became a fall festival enshrined in law and tradition (it became an annual celebration in 1863), turkey and fall fruits and vegetables have been featured on the dinner table. Does anyone recall seeing a cartoon crab or pig painted on grocery store windows? Does the president pardon an oyster? No. Since at least 1947, the sitting president has pardoned a big white turkey. Does any one know of a Charlie Brown Thanksgiving special that doesn’t feature turkey? What about the stuffing? Where do you put that in a ham or crab? And oh by the way, cherry pie is for the summer. Banana cream? I can’t think of the right holiday for that.

Maybe I do get upset when people mess with Thanksgiving. But consider this: how many holidays are there, celebrated by the entire country, that are largely secular in origin, or at the very least transcend any single religious belief? How many holidays don’t require the purchase of a card or gift? I love that — that this melting pot can come together on one day a year, can shut down for a few hours, and celebrate that for which we are thankful.